X-Plane Sucks!

And while I’m sitting here waiting for my source to build, I’m going to rant a bit about the vaunted X-Plane flight simulator. Last fall I replaced my ailing Windows machine with a nice shiny new iMac 20″ G5. (About a month before the announcement of the Intel machines… Grr.)

I was a little worried about not being able to run Flight Simulator any more, but from the hype on the web, X-Plane was more than enough to keep me happy. Little did I know.

To put it simply, X-Plane sucks. It’s a matter of production values. First, let me say that the new global terrain graphics are perfectly adequate. Graphics are not the issue.

First of all, the simulation engine changes with practially every single minor revision of the software. That means that planes designed for one version of the software fly wildly differently on others. And since updates are released about every six weeks, this is a major problems for one’s enjoyment of the product.

Second, the planes are crap. If the have a 2D cockpit, it’s only good for one resolution, and doesn’t scale to others. So I have to downgrade my screen to 1024×768 to fly, either sssstttrrreeetttccchhhiiinnnggg to fit my wide-screen monitor, or leaving black bars on each side. If I’m in 3D cockpit mode, most of the planes just have the 2D cockpit hanging in empty space in front of you. Any change in viewpoint from the default results in a jarring cognitive dissonance.

Third, the interface is crap. You cannot get a joystick coolie hat to move your view in both 2D and 3D cockpit modes at the same time.

Fourth, the avionics are crap, as are plane builders’ instrument choices. If you’re going to simulate anything more complex than the S-TEC, include a FLCH function. Trying to level some wildly overpowered fantasy jet before I can hit altitude hold is an exercise in futility. And the autopilot . . . what can I say. Don’t eat a large meal before engaging it, is all I can say. X-Plane is singularly responsible for introducing me to the concept of AIO: autopilot-induced oscillation. In all dimensions. And don’t even think about mentioning the FMC. If it bothers to notice a turn at a waypoint, it takes its time telling the autopilot.

Fifth, the AI air traffic control is crap. It takes no notice of airspeed when commanding descent, so many’s the time I’ve been instructed to call the tower on ILS intercept — and found I was at angels 10, one mile from the runway. This is probably the reason it nags you every 30 seconds whenever your rate of descent slips above -6000fpm.

Ordinarily I’m all in favor of the little guy — I’m writing a spaceflight simulator I hope to release someday — but in this case, production values win out. As soon as I can I’m buying a windows machine to run FS X on. X-Plane is pretty much the most disappointing $60 I’ve ever spent on software.