Down with Speling!

I’ve been reading some of George Washington’s papers, and one thing that struck me is the free and easy spelling. It’s quite refreshing.

It is obvious that the only possible purpose for insisting on consistent spelling in English is that of class warfare. Before the advent of universal education, only those with the leisure time to memorize the complex rules and exceptions of the English system, and in our more-educated day we look down upon those who, because they have better things to do than obsess over the details of spelling, are actually smarter than the rest of us!

There is no merit to the argument that consistency in spelling is useful for disambiguation in communication. The complexity of English spelling rules, and the many homonyms, homophones and homographs in the lexicon prove that any literate person is quite capable of disambiguating words from context.

If were conspiracy-minded, I would suspect that William Webster was an agent of aristocracy, infecting the newly free and egalitarian republic with the virus of hierarchy based on that “hob-goblin of little minds”.

So I call for an end to speling! Let freedom reign as in former tymes. Emanicpate the legions of helpless children enslaved to the dictionary, and let all others be free to express themselves without artifitial constraint!