Category: World

Les Spammeurs Sénégalais

J’ai reçu le courriel ci-dessous hier:

Chère soeur/Cher frère,

Ne soyez pas surpris de me lire bien que ça soit peut-être la première fois. La raison pour laquelle je vous joinds présentement est que, j’ai l’intention d’aider les autres, par votre canal. Ainsi, veuillez me présenter des projets qui seront profitables aux peuples africains en général et à ceux de notre cher Congo en particulier. Le pays est grand et je ne peux faire tout de moi-même. C’est pourquoi je contacte certains des africains ainsi que certains de mes compatriotes qui me présenteront de bons projets afin d’investir là-dessus. Mais ce que je vous prierai, c’est d’en garder secret jusqu’à ce que le fond nécessaire soit entre vos mains, après les avoir étudiés et validés. Je vous remercie vivement et à la
prochaine occasion.

Sincèrement,

Jean Jacques Mutombo Dikembe Mpolondo

Voici ma réponse:

Monsieur Jean Jacques Mutombo Dikembe Mpolondo,

J’ai bien reçu votre courriel du 9 décembre et je m’empresse de répondre à votre offre généreuse. C’est avec grand plaisir que je trouve un autre qui sent autant pour les africains comme je le fais. Je suis considérablement préoccupé par l’état des africains, car je suis né au Liberia, et observais avec le plus grand regret tandis que la violence injustifiée détruisait une société si prospère et progressive. De la même manière, la situation difficile du peuple du Congo a touché mes sentiments plus profonds.

Donc j’avais préparé un plan. J’ai décidé de conquérir le continent de l’Afrique par la force des armes, et la règner comme empereur unique. Mes idées politiques, économiques et sociales éclairées établiront un nouveau et prospère état humain pour les peuples de l’Afrique. Toute la planification est en place; seulement les ressources nécessaires manquent.

Ainsi votre courriel est arrivé au moment opportun. J’espère que vous le trouverez à votre coeur pour joindre ma campagne de la vérité et du droiture. À cet effet, veuillez trouver ci-dessous une liste d’approvisionnements qui sont actuellement nécessaires pour la première étape de mon effort. N’hésitez pas à me contacter à cette addresse. Je demeure à votre entière disposition pour toute information complémentaire.

En vous remerciant de la confiance que vous me témoignez, je vous prie d’accepter, monsieur Jean Jacques Mutombo Dikembe Mpolondo, l’expression de mes cordiales salutations.

Gordon Tisher

Voyez mon entrée précédente pour la liste de materiel.

Today’s National Review

Herewith links to a couple of essays in The National Review:

Victor Davis Hanson reminds us that the doomsayers who proclaim defeat in Iraq today are the same ones who predicted quagmire in the Hindu Kush and Stalingrad on the Tigris. And an extra bonus snark to the Sunnis calling for postponement because of instability in Sunni areas; if you can’t set your own house in order, you don’t deserve to vote.

Mark Steyn mocks the post-election Liberal flirtation with religion (subscription required):

Prominent Democrats seem to have great difficulty getting even the well-known bits right. Christmas, according to Hillary Rodham Clinton in 1999, is when those in that particular faith tradition celebrate “the birth of a homeless child.” Or, as Al Gore put it in 1997, “Two thousand years ago, a homeless woman gave birth to a homeless child.” For Pete’s sake, they weren’t homeless — they couldn’t get a hotel room. They had to sleep in the stable only because Dad had to schlep halfway across the country to pay his taxes in the town of his birth, which sounds like the kind of cockamamie bureaucratic nightmare only a blue state could cook up. Except that in Massachusetts, it’s no doubt illegal to rent out your stable without applying for a Livestock Shelter Change of Use Permit plus a Temporary Maternity Ward for Non-Insured Transients License, so Mary would have been giving birth under a bridge on I-95.

“Who is the Occupier?”

I always tear up reading bloggers from Iraq celebrating their new-found freedom and dignity. Mohammed at Iraq the Model relates how he recently braved the direct South-North highway through the “triangle of death” south of Baghdad that has been cleared following the Battle of Fallujah.

Here, our fears reached a peak because we all knew that similar paths are the ones used by the terrorists as they’re hidden by dense orchards. I became even more anxious when the guy sitting next to me took out his Id (which says that he works for one of the ministries) and passed it to the driver without saying a word and in what looked like an undeclared agreement, all the other passengers did the same adding their cell phones in some cases (the terrorists think that anyone carrying a cell phone in this area is a spy collecting intelligence for the government or the MNF).

The driver calmly took the Id’s and phones and started hiding them in a small secret drawer underneath his seat. The guy next to me looked at me with a question in his eyes “and you?” I took out my Id and handed it over to the driver because I didn’t want to violate this silent security agreement and I felt hurt because I had to hide what should be an honor of being a dentist serving the people, because the “resistance” consider serving the people a crime.

One of the passengers said whispering “where are the Americans? Where are the ING?” One replied saying “and who dares to enter these territories?!” We were overwhelmed with fear and anxiety until the guy sitting next to me said “look there” and pointed with his finger to the right.

We all turned to see what he was pointing to, and we regained some of our confidence as we saw a convoy of several Hummer vehicles patrolling the area. “They’re not as cautious and afraid as we thought they would be. Here are they moving confidently” the driver said. “I don’t think they’ll stay here after sunset. The terrorists will take over the area at night” another passenger added. I smiled and thought “we fear our countrymen while we feel safe when the foreigners are moving around! Who’s the occupier? Who are the bad guys here?”

Read the whole thing, as well as the Ali’s just slightly ironic description of the application process for the new political party the Iraq the Model guys are starting.